Jessi Roos

Lately, I've been feeling like this:

I can’t think of any other way to describe my feelings, sometimes, than just to listen to music.  And this is a good one.

I’m lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn’t really know, doesn’t really know

I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I’m all out of love, what am I without you
I can’t be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I’m reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can’t hold on
There’s no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I’ll be gone, I’ll be gone

Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

All Out of Love — Graham Russell

Drunk Travis quotes #1

“You want to drive to Taco Bell?  I give you cheeseburger.”

“I’m an anteater.  I’ll walk up to an anthill and eat the queen ant……. the queen ant is dead.  And we’re just gonna fuck.  Jessi and I are gonna fuck.”

“I don’t like clingy girls, unless they’re clinging so close that they’re DTF.  If they’re that, it’s okay.”

“Jessi!  Jessi, come sit in my lap.  I know you’re mad because I hung up on you.  Tell what I have to do to make you love me again.  I’ll do AAAAANNYYTHING!  I’ve been waiting for you all night!”

Yeeaah.  It’s a very entertaining night, to say the least.

Torn.

Inside out, upside down, twisting beside myself

Stop that now, ‘cause you and I were never meant to meet

I think you’d better leave

It’s not safe in here

I feel a weakness coming on

Alright then,

I could keep your number for a rainy day

That’s where this ends

No mistakes, no misbehaving

I was doing so well

Could we just be friends?

I feel a weakness coming on

It’s not meant to be like this,

Not what I planned at all

I don’t want to feel like this

No, it’s not meant to be like this

Not what I planned at all

I don’t want to feel like this,

So that makes it all your fault

Inside out, upside down, twisting beside myself

Stop that now, you’re as close as it gets without touching me

Oh, now don’t make it harder than it already is

I feel a weakness coming on

Big trouble, losing control

Primary resistance at a critical low

On the double, gotta get a hold

Point of no return, one second to go

No response on any level,

Red alert, this vessel’s under seige

Total overload, all systems down, they’ve got control

There’s no way out

We are surrounded

Give in, give in, and relish every minute of it

It’s not meant to be like this,

Not what I planned at all

I don’t want to feel like this

No, it’s not meant to be like this

It’s just what I don’t need

Why make me feel like this?

It’s definitely all your fault

The Walk — Imogen Heap

I miss my boys.

I talk to Andy every day, at least a little, and I’m going to see him soon.  But I’m afraid it’s not going to be enough and I’ll just be sad again later.  I know that’s not a good way to think about it because I might not have as much fun as I should.

I haven’t talked to Casey more than…three times since he moved.  I feel like we forgot about each other, like the friendship is on hold.  Or like it’s not as important as it used to be.

I don’t know how long I’ll be able to do this without breaking down.  Things are so different without them.  I’m having fun, but I don’t have time for anyone or anything that isn’t scheduled into my week.  They seem to be really busy too, and it’s hard to find time to really talk.

I’m doing things that I never thought I’d get into this soon.  And although I’m really enjoying it, it’s too much.  I think I’m trying my hardest to distract myself from what I’ve lost.

Not to mention the fact that I haven’t had a playdate with anyone I don’t live with, in a LONG time.

:[

“I’ve gotta tell you what a state I’m in.  I’ve gotta tell you in my loudest tones that I started looking for a warning sign, when the truth is I miss you.”

Warning Sign — Coldplay

I'm such an asshole.

I can’t believe myself.

Sick.

After having a very frustrating week at Vacation Bible School, I think the kids got me sick.

I waited all day yesterday to throw up, quite miserably.  And uh…everyone says that it was the little kids who started it.  Most likely.

Yay.

New house.

Just moved today.  Everything went well, and Jenni and I still have a lot of boxes.  However, it’s getting pretty comfy already.

It’s weird being in a new place, but I like it. Nathaniel and Aly are wonderful, and so far our room arrangement seems to be a good thing. :]

I won’t have my mom calling me and asking where I am late at night now.  It’s going to be new and strange.  I might even miss that a little.

I’m gonna have a lot of things to get used to.  I’m sure updates will come later.

The future.

I can’t figure out why, but I suddenly feel overwhelmed.

I’m starting to feel so many things that I’m used to slipping away from me.

It’s hard to say how much longer we will all keep our jobs at Cold Stone.  Conrad hired 5 new people while we were on choir tour, and is giving them all of the available hours.  It makes it seem like he’s preparing to get rid of us, or something.  Next year I will need a job to be able to afford living away from home, and that scares me.  We went and looked at Nathaniel’s new house today, and it’s absolutely beautiful, but I don’t know if I will realistically be able to come up with everything I need for each month.  It’ll probably be easier for me than some others, because my parents have offered to help me pay for rent, but if I don’t have a job, I will have no gas or food.

I’m trying to deal with the fact that Andrew and Casey are leaving at the end of the summer.  I don’t want them to be away from me, and that idea is so hard to grasp.  I have planned out all of the breaks from school, when they could come back home, but I’m not sure that’s enough.  I guess it will have to be.  I just hope I can be strong.

My dog is near invincible, and she always pulls through, but lately she’s been in a funk and not herself.  I don’t know if she’ll come out of it, and I don’t want to lose her.  I’m so worried about it that I don’t want to leave for DisneyWorld next week.  My mom just told me to mentally prepare for Ashley to not be around much longer.  I’m trying to figure out whether it’s better to prepare for it now, or pretend like it’s not happening until that day comes.

“All I find are souvenirs from better times, before the gleam of your tail lights fading east - to find yourself a better life.”

Title and Registration — Death Cab for Cutie